JANUARY
1. Ambitious and serious
2. Loves to teach and be taught
3. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses
4. Likes to criticize
Santa Banta and pope
Posted by kapil on August 21st, 2011
About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Sikhs had to leave Italy. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Sikh community. So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Sikh community.
If the Sikh won, the Sikhs could stay.
If the Pope won, the Sikhs would leave.
The Sikhs realized that they had no choice. So they picked a middle-aged man named Harbinder Singh to represent them. Harbinder asked for one condition to the debate – neither side would be allowed to talk.
santa joined church
Posted by kapil on August 21st, 2011
Fed up with people making fun of him, Santa decided to change his religion. He joined a priest in a church as his assistant.
One day the priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended,
He called Santa D’Costa (his new assistant) and asked him to cover for him.
Santa told him he wouldn’t know what to say, but the priest told him to stay with him for a little while and learn what to do.
Santa joined the priest and then followed him into the confessional. A few minutes later a woman came in and said “Father, forgive me for I have sinned”
Priest: “What did you do?”
Woman: ” I committed adultery”
Priest: “How many times?”
Woman: “Three times”
Priest: “Say Two Hail Marys, put $ 5.00 in the charity box, and sin no more”
A few minutes later a man entered the confessional.
He said “Father, forgive me for I have sinned”
Priest: “What did you do?”
Man: “I committed adultery”
Priest: “How many times?”
Man: “Three times”
Priest: “Say two Hail Marys, put $ 5.00 in the charity box, and sin no more”
Santa, a quick learner, told the priest that he understood the job and the priest could leave. Santa D’costa was now alone. A few minutes later another woman entered and said “Father, forgive me for I have sinned”
Santa: “What did you do?”
Woman: “I committed adultery”
Santa: “How many times?”
Woman: “Once”
Santa: “Go do it two more times, we have a special offer this week, three times for $ 5.00″
santa banta wife’s birthday
Posted by kapil on August 21st, 2011
Santa thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife’s birthday and, also, their anniversary.
He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to Jeetoo on these dates along with an appropriate note signed, “Your loving husband.”
Jeeto was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went well until one day, some bouquets later, when Santa came home, kissed her and said offhandedly,
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“Nice flowers, where’d you get them?”
santa and BMW
Posted by kapil on August 21st, 2011
BMW cars were having back mounted engines earlier.
Santa purchased a new BMW and was driving back to home very happily. On the way the car broke down. Santa came out of the car and opened the bonnet, trying to fix up the problem. Immediately began to sweat.
By that time Banta came by that way and saw our Santa, totally confused and sweating, trying to search something inside the bonnet, and asked him what was the matter.
Santa: “The BMW people made me fool.They have given me the Car without the engine.”
Banta: “Don’t worry. I have spare engine in the back of my BMW. You can take that.”
santa banta and catalog
Posted by kapil on August 21st, 2011
Santa and Banta were looking at a catalog and admiring the models.
Santa says to the Banta, “Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?”
Banta replies, “Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!”
Santa says, with wide eyes, “Wow, they aren’t very expensive. At this price, I’m buying one.”
Banta smiles and pats him on the back, “Good idea! Order one and if she’s as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will get one too.”
Three weeks later, Banta asks Santa, “Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the catalog?”
Santa replies, “No, but it shouldn’t be long now. I got her clothes yesterday!”
Surendra Sharma Comedy Log and Lugai
Posted by kapil on August 21st, 2011
Surendra Sharma is one of the famous Comedian and now brings a new one Log and Lugai
Dilo me tum apni betabiyan leke chal rhe ho
Posted by kapil on August 20th, 2011
Dilo me tum apni betabiyan leke chal rhe ho…to zinda ho tum…
nazar me khwabon ki bijliyan leke chal rhe ho…to zinda ho tum…
hawa ke jhokon ke jese azad rhna seekho…
tum ek dariya ke jese lehron me bahena seekho.
har ek lamhe se tum milo khole apni bahen.
har ek pal ek naya sama dekhe ye nigahen,
jo apni aankhon me heraniya leke chal rhe ho,
to zinda ho tum.
How can a student pass
Posted by kapil on August 19th, 2011
It’s not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLY has 365′ days.
Typical academic year for a student:
1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.Days left 313.
2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.Days
left 263.
Poetic Resignation
Posted by kapil on August 19th, 2011
The name is good, the brand is big
But the work I do is that of a pig
The work or the brand; what is my way?
I don’t know if I should stay.
To work, they have set their own way
Nobody will care to hear what I say
My will be NULL, they wont change their way
I don’t know if I should stay.
The project is in a critical stage
But to do good work, this is the age
This dilemma is killing me day by day
I don’t know if I should stay.
The money is good, the place is great
But the development is at a very small rate
Should I go for the work, or wait for pay
I don’t know if I should stay!
The managers don’t know what they talk
The team doesn’t know where they walk
That’s a bad situation, what say?
I don’t know if I should stay.
I can go to any other place
But what if I get the same disgrace
I can’t keep switching day by day
I don’t know if I should stay.
The -ves are more, the +ves are less
Then why have this unnecessary mess
No more will I walk their way,
It’s all done, I won’t stay.
Thanks & Regards
Employee
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———
Manager Response
Reply: What I want to say? (Manager)
The decision is good or decision is bad
Only God knows still I am glad
Keep moving in life that is what I can say
If you feel right go in the same way
May god give you the work, the challenge you want
Anyway there is always a second chance
Chances are there, grab them snatch them
That is what I can say
Keep on jumping companies to get more and more and more….
That will keep you always a fore (Even to me)
From my experience I can tell you
Being in software development is like taking hell out of you
You are frustrated since you have no quality work
And you were frustrated because you had quantity work
It’s always like that previous job was better than the current one
And expects the new job will be much better than this one
But what you get is a frustration level up to sun
Than you will again send the resignation like this one
This is all what I want to say
Have you completed all the formalities?
Filled the form and got it signed from department humanities (HR)
Once done you can take all your cash
But don’t refer others as they will follow you’re a*s.
At last I appreciate your contribution to the company
Even though there was not any….
You will keep a copy of this with you for FYI
Don’t feel shy
As I also got it some time back from my old manger say Hi….
That is all what I want to say.
Thanks & Regards
Manager
